had to mow the lawn
| DX Gaming http://www.dxgaming.com/forums/ |
|
| Doctor's Notes http://www.dxgaming.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10753 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | hizzie [ Wed Aug 17, 2005 12:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Doctor's Notes |
True stories from the Doctors themselves... Doctor's Notes A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - and I was in the wrong one Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see . Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive." Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly.I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." and finally... A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr. wouldn't admit his name |
|
| Author: | Wizard_of_Gore [ Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Bwhahahaha!!! That's funny I don't care you are. |
|
| Author: | hizzie [ Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
well thanks for being the ONLY other person on the shard that likes it....jerks |
|
| Author: | regiss [ Thu Aug 25, 2005 4:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Awww. :( I liked it. |
|
| Author: | mumu [ Thu Aug 25, 2005 5:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
good stuff |
|
| Author: | Dark_phoenix [ Thu Aug 25, 2005 6:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
had to mow the lawn
|
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC-07:00 |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|