yet you still troll the forums LOL, your more like the dorks
| DX Gaming http://www.dxgaming.com/forums/ |
|
| HOW TO CRAP AT WORK (LMAOL) http://www.dxgaming.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=17568 |
Page 1 of 2 |
| Author: | Damon [ Tue Jul 10, 2007 1:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | HOW TO CRAP AT WORK (LMAOL) |
HOW TO CRAP AT WORK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. CROP DUSTING ------------------ When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BY -------- The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. ESCAPEE ----------- A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK ------------- When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH --------------------- The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME ------------------- Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom.. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER ---------------------------------- A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N) ------------------------------------------------ A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS ---------------- A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR ------------------ Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH ----------------- A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE ---------- A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON ---------------- A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on,create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANAOMELET ------------------- A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. UNCLE TED ------------- A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. |
|
| Author: | raine2004 [ Tue Jul 10, 2007 1:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Does this really belong in the Obsidian Discussion forum? lol |
|
| Author: | Thassius [ Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Moved to Off-topic. I thought this was hilarious - anyone who has pooped at work or in a private building has experienced some if not all of these. |
|
| Author: | Damon [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Lolz I know. GO POOPERS |
|
| Author: | regiss [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 9:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Nice avatar. You are on the SHIT OBS, eh. LOL |
|
| Author: | belgarion [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It should read "Now that half the shard has quit, we are the shit. LMAO!!!!! |
|
| Author: | chips LL [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
yet you still troll the forums LOL, your more like the dorks
|
|
| Author: | regiss [ Wed Jul 11, 2007 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
How about you stop pretending like you know wot's going on and stop making a fool outta yerself chips. |
|
| Author: | belgarion [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I still play numbnuts. I just don't PvP anymore because it seems the in thing now is to make a tank and instead of aquiring any PvP skill just invul constantly, xheal and gank. And PvP will always be that way until we can get a better system set up. I was just simply stating that when their were good guilds active they were not the shit, they were just shit. 
|
|
| Author: | Diablo [ Thu Jul 12, 2007 8:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
TRUE THAT 
|
|
| Author: | chips LL [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
well I was just saying, if you play, and don't like it, why still play?, trolling is not fun on any level. why must you try and create negative attention to the shard, you said we shouldn't be responsible for bringing new players to the shard, so why should we be responsible for scaring them away? just keep your stupid witty comments to your self, there pointless. ps. ya, order lords are shitty lol. |
|
| Author: | Thassius [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Jeez, this is a funny post in off-topic... it takes a special grade of LOSER to turn it into a flame war. Congratulations to those of you involved - you succeeded in making that grade. It has also not escaped my attention that...certain... individuals (irrespective of whether they still play or not) seem to be only using their forum accounts for trolling, and not to contribute anything *useful*. If trolling persists then I will simply forum and IP ban these individuals; and your guild, previous tenure or contribution to the shard will not be a factor in preventing this from happening. Please, just be civil to one another. It's really not that difficult. |
|
| Author: | chips LL [ Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Next time I argue with a forum administrator warning I will have my forum account suspended. If I do not wish to be referred to as a loser I will not engage in flame wars to the detriment of the other players who use our forums. |
|
| Author: | Pluto [ Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well said Chips 
|
|
| Author: | chips LL [ Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
don't get why my post was changed. simply said, if you don't want people to flame, don't flame your self. I r so the E loser for that 
|
|
| Page 1 of 2 | All times are UTC-07:00 |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|