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 Post subject: Poetry corner
PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:49 pm 
Well I guess some of you guys might need some poetry in your life. So here is this topic that i made in wich you are encouraged to talk about poetry you like, to post poems that you like and so on and so forth. Of course, i might be wrong and you might not give a flying you-know-what about it. But heh, why not give it a try.

Here is a poem wich i like a lot, it's a romanian poet that you never heard of and he wrote it in english.


Voice Over
by Catalin Furtuna

she came from the OPPOSITE DIRECTION
I saw right away that she was singing
just like me

I for one was humming SOME SILLY BOWIE TUNE
while hers was a song
of a MORE COMPLICATED NATURE
(indeed she would later confirm that she had had a saxophone
stuck down her lovely throat FOR QUITE A WHILE NOW)

anyway soon enough she too noticed my SINGING
and like two little red racing cars
we sped HEADLONG towards each other
tires screeching like WOLVES
these machines were already BURNING RUBBER

and as we got closer and closer
none of us would
STOP
SINGING

as might be expected
our voices CRASHED

at MY place


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 9:33 pm 
once upon a time, i used to actually have shit to write about... so i tried the poetry thing... wasn't any good at it tho... i let some people read a few of them this past semester and they seemed to like this one... as scary as that is...


my tragedy

…no more…
…it hurts too much…
…i’ve gone so long…
…without your touch…
…my eyes wander…
…i spot my knife…
…a beautiful release…
…a wasted life…
…the blade dances…
…the floor floods…
…my eyes panic…
…so much blood…
…it’s getting dark…
…it weighs me down…
…i hope you’ll forgive me…
…when i’m found…
…it’s not fair…
…you’re to blame…
…you treated my love…
…as another game…
…i drop to my knees…
…i lean on the tub…
…and all i wanted…
…was your love…
…there was nothing i could say…
…nothing else i could do…
…everything fades…
…i still think of you…
…as time goes by…
…you’ll forget about me…
…you’ll forget of us…
…everything we should be…
…you gave me your love…
…you took it away…
…and as my heart stops…
…i remember that day…
…"i’ll love you forever"…
…were sweet words to hear…
…i knew you were lieing…
…it was just as i feared…
…i’m nothing to you…
…you were everything to me…
…i know you’ll enjoy…
…my tragedy…
……………………..
…and still…
…i love you.



boop boop be doop! :D


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:24 pm 

Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 1:17 am
Posts: 712
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Location: Punia, Lithuania
omg Loki your good :)
no realy i liked it!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:42 am 
yeah, it's ok, though you should quit the rhymes, you need them not. also, you might consider changing the form in wich your poem is written, you don't want your lyrics to be like slogans, or like short barked sentences. in certain parts the poem becomes redundant, it's like you said what you had to say and then you re-say it. but it could be a good start.

but how about some poems that you guys like, some contemporary authors.

for instance, have you evere heard about Denise Duhamel? She's an american poet, i like her writing a lot.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:49 am 
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see, Bryan is a good writer.



and, i wouldnt look at other poets stoof to get a feel of what to write, i dont seem that being very orginal because ur trying to be something else...


so....i dont....know other poets...


spoken word is awesme tho.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:53 am 
its sad... and scary how good of a liar girls can be


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:07 pm 

Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 1:17 am
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Location: Punia, Lithuania
Quote:
its sad... and scary how good of a liar girls can be
haha


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 7:49 pm 
actually oigen ryhming creates a rythm to poetry that alot of ppl like..i love poems that ryhme and i really dont like to read poems that dont ryhme but they are good also...plus the form he used to wright it in was orginal and thats what makes poems good in my opinion


awsome poem bryan...why didnt they jsut DF themselves to death tho...much more faster :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:13 pm 
yer lucky your bro's cool... :P


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:42 pm 
hehe....j/k tho it really was a good poem i liked it better than the one oigen had up there :P


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:51 pm 
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uhh anyways, figure'd i'll paste one of my poems that i wrote a whiles ago, it meant a lot then, still does. to me atleast. yes its short.

"Significant Letter"

Dear Love,

whose hand guides my dreams
Patient weaver, to everything of mine obsene
I hear you call from the pause between breaths
As i have sought you outside...
At my descent I seek you within
I'm so lonely
So lonely, without you
Tonight in the darkness
which bears the seed of daybreak

Im distraut, wishing for you...
I reach for your hand.

aBib
November 9th 2004

uhh i wrote it to...(for?) Bryan, if thats not obvious enough.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:57 pm 
Quote:
its sad... and scary how good of a liar girls can be


Last edited by TheRealLoki on Thu Mar 24, 2005 10:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 9:58 pm 
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dah same goes with boys.

obviously.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 3:15 am 
yeah, well "musical" poetry is rather dead, of course people that never red anything after poe or byron would still like it - but only because of their ignorance, so to speak. but guys, altough i like it that you are (or were) creative in a poetic matter, the aim of the topic was to see if you read poetry, contemporary one, if you know what has become of poetry. i wasn't aiming at people searching trough their highschool notebooks in search for poems they wrote. Abib's one is slightly better than loki's one though :)

legendary, that's not *my* poem, it's someone else's.

this is one wrote by Denise Duhamel

Sex with a famous poet
by Denise Duhamel

I had sex with a famous poet last night
and when I rolled over and found myself beside him I shuddered
because I was married to someone else,
because I wasn't supposed to have been drinking,
because I was in fancy hotel room
I didn't recognize. I would have told you
right off this was a dream, but recently
a friend told me, write about a dream,
lose a reader and I didn't want to lose you
right away. I wanted you to hear
that I didn't even like the poet in the dream, that he has
four kids, the youngest one my age, and I find him
rather unattractive, that I only met him once,
that is, in real life, and that was in a large group
in which I barely spoke up. He disgusted me
with his disparaging remarks about women.
He even used the word "Jap"
which I took as a direct insult to my husband who's Asian.
When we were first dating, I told him
"You were talking in your sleep last night
and I listened, just to make sure you didn't
call out anyone else's name." My future-husband said
that he couldn't be held responsible for his subconscious,
which worried me, which made me think his dreams
were full of blond vixens in rabbit-fur bikinis.
but he said no, he dreamt mostly about boulders
and the ocean and volcanoes, dangerous weather
he witnessed but could do nothing to stop.
And I said, "I dream only of you,"
which was romantic and silly and untrue.
But I never thought I'd dream of another man--
my husband and I hadn't even had a fight,
my head tucked sweetly in his armpit, my arm
around his belly, which lifted up and down
all night, gently like water in a lake.
If I passed that famous poet on the street,
he would walk by, famous in his sunglasses
and blazer with the suede patches at the elbows,
without so much as a glance in my direction.
I know you're probably curious about who the poet is,
so I should tell you the clues I've left aren't
accurate, that I've disguised his identity,
that you shouldn't guess I bet it's him...
because you'll never guess correctly
and even if you do, I won't tell you that you have.
I wouldn't want to embarrass a stranger
who is, after all, probably a nice person,
who was probably just having a bad day when I met him,
who is probably growing a little tired of his fame--
which my husband and I perceive as enormous,
but how much fame can an American poet
really have, let's say, compared to a rock star
or film director of equal talent? Not that much,
and the famous poet knows it, knows that he's not
truly given his due. Knows that many
of these young poets tugging on his sleeve
are only pretending to have read all his books.
But he smiles anyway, tries to be helpful.
I mean, this poet has to have some redeeming qualities, right?
For instance, he writes a mean iambic.
Otherwise, what was I doing in his arms.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 7:47 am 
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pssh


i didnt write that in my notebooks..


on dah compoooooooter mkkaay..


:(

i liked the Denise Duhamel better than the "voice over" poem, it had too many words in caps like it was trying too hard to sound important...

err its too early.

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